We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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