You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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