Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize