Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
