Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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