I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
