Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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