Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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