did you get engaged???
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
