I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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