Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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