Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
