come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
