ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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