Whod you bang
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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