wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
