I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Who died my cat blue again?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
