Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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