Where are you?
In a non slutty way
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
