then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
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