Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize