it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The air was thick with penises
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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