I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
