Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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