is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
