My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
