bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
