is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
