why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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