This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I AM VODKA MAN
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
