there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
