Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
