i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
