How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
