so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
