I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
