You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
