I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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