Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
