I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I will be naked everywhere
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize