I cockslap morals
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
