grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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