New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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