You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
