Acid is not a monday night drug
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
