The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize