im drinking this country out of the recession.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
