dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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