my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
