Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Randomize