whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Redeem this text for a blowjob
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
