if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
