he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
