why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
