I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
