I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The beers last night were like the tears from god
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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