Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
