Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
